You're a Terrible Mother & You're Going To Ruin That Child

If you haven't heard someone say this to you, then you've at least thought it. Either thought it about yourself or about another mom. There is no easy way to be a mother. Someone always has something to say. Someone always has something to condemn. Someone always has something to tisk about, shake their head and add to.

Stop.

Stop letting these people online, in person, even in support groups tell you how to raise you child. Do you love your child? Do you listen to your pediatrician? Do you take your child to the doctors regularly? Are they healthy? If you answered yes. Then stop. Just stop.

Whenever my daughter would cry, which when she was 0-6 months was constantly, I would say out loud,

"I know, I know, I'm the worst."

My lactation consultant heard me say it once and she corrected me.

"You are not the worst, never put yourself down you are the best mother this child will ever have."

She was right. No matter what mistakes we make no matter how bad we think we're doing, our children will LOVE us. We are raising HUMAN BEINGS. It's hard, it's challenging and EVERYONE DOES IT DIFFERENTLY. Your baby is not every baby. What works for one does not work for all. Etc. Etc. Etc.

It doesn't matter what you had to go through to bring this child into the world. It matters what you do once they're here. They're a part of you. They are you. That attitude you shot your parents when you were 16, guess what? It's coming at you when they're 18 months. It's you. It's all you and you're doing great.

You don't know any other parent's story or journey. That kid having a meltdown - maybe they missed their nap. Maybe they're hungry. Maybe they're getting over a cold. I bet you judged a little didn't you? You shouldn't. Focus on your baby. Your path and raising your little human into a functional adult. Don't worry about what's going on over here or over there or across the street. Don't worry if that mother is giving her kid cow's milk, almond milk, soy milk it doesn't matter. Whether a child is breast fed or bottle they still survived. Whether you coddle your baby or let them cry it out. You're alive, the baby is alive. You got through it and it won't be the last time you question what you're doing or face hardships or make mistakes. In fact, if you're not questioning yourself everyday then you are doing a way better job than me.

The truth is you're a great mother and you're going to love that child.