Friday, September 7, 2012

The Firefighter in Me

Since starting my mission to become a volunteer fire fighter no one has really ever asked me WHY I am doing it. It’s a reasonable question. I, personally, have a lot of family members involved in the fire department but if you look on the wide scale of how many people I know there aren’t a whole lot of fire fighters, EMTs or even nurses. The path to becoming a firefighter is a long, winding one full of laws, technical terms, education, training and low pay. Right now I am stressing myself out and worrying over my Emergency Medical Technician coursework and I’m just trying to become a volunteer. I’m not even doing this as a career choice.
 
By the end of it all, I will have put my mind and body through some pretty hellish situations and yet my biggest fear isn’t about what will happen once I’m on call or what will I do when someone is dying on me or even how will I control my nerves during exams and labs it’s the thought of not finishing. I’m more terrified of giving up than I am of being a fire fighter. I’m more worried that if I don’t pass my EMT coursework that my training will stall or end all together.

Last night was my first real EMT class, quizzes on the first two chapters, lectures, the whole shebang. The instructor went to everyone in the class and asked why they were taking this course. The answers varied as did the ages. Some were fire fighters in the military and they wanted to transition to civilian life and stay in the field. Some grew up in a fire house. Some wanted to get into the medical field. Some wanted to be firefighters. Some wanted to be paramedics. I have the pedigree, I have the background. My father is a retired Battalion Fire Chief, my stepbrother and cousin both are in the fire department. My husband’s family is also in the fire department. My answer could have been easy and concise. It wasn’t what I expected.

“I love my community and I want to be an asset to them by becoming a volunteer firefighter.”

I couldn’t tell you where it came from. It wasn’t anything else anyone had said. There weren’t many people who admitted to going through all of this just to volunteer. Who weren’t making this a career choice. I do love my community. I loved it when I was a reporter for the North Kitsap Herald and I love now. The people are kind, the roads are paved and everyone is supportive. When I started to work from home, I panicked on what I would do to make it so I didn’t lose my mind. I toyed with the idea of volunteering at the Library or the humane society or at the horse rescue. My heart would have been into all of those things. Once the idea of volunteer fire fighting came into my head, though, it wasn’t leaving and it became a mission, it became a goal, it became real.

It’s only now, that I’ve truly started down the path that I am realizing what this will take out of me. I will be sacrificing my mind, body, time and effort. I will be studying, I will be physically active, I will be mentally taxed and I will do it all with a smile, because this is the choice I have made and this is what I want to do with my free time. I’m not doing it for the “maybe” glory of being a fire fighter. I’m not doing it because of my dad. I’m not even doing it to save lives. I’m doing it so I can live every day and know I am trying to do something bigger than myself that I am offering myself to something great.

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