Working Out Is Hard To Do

“In my dreams I have an ice cream tree, I have a gym that works out for me.” – The Aquabats

I am unhappy with my weight. All the positive reinforcement is not going to change how I feel. While I am happy for my tiny waist and large rump, I am not so happy with my stomach, arms, thighs and the double chin that is brewing. I haven’t been comfortable with my weight since I was, oh, 13. The wedding brought on a whole new stew pot of fears. Everyone wants to look good on their wedding day. But with stress making it hard to shed those pounds and the hectic schedule of wedding planning, working out falls low on the list.

There are some people out there who complain about their weight but don’t want to change their life to accommodate weight loss. Surprisingly, I love exercising. I don’t mean I do it as a chore to reach a goal; I mean I LOVE it. Something about sweating and getting this daily sense of accomplish makes me okay about my weight, my life and gives me the ability to sleep for that day.

Why I never want to get out of bed.

Let’s face it, good relationships make you fat. It’s true. You get comfortable, you want to spend time together, the couch becomes your best friend and before you know it you’ve packed on 20 pounds, while your male counterpart has gained 5 pounds.  You start eating 3 salads a week and he’s lost 15 pounds, while you’ve lost 5 pounds. I get it. It happens. Unless you’re one of those –lets-get-out-and-bike-10-miles-together-or-go-hiking-or-run-a-marathon – couples, I think it’s safe to say you age, you get comfortable, you gain weight.

My exercise drug of choice is running.  I love to run; I’m not “good” at it but the feeling I get after running 2 miles and walking a mile versus sitting on the couch for 30 minutes is unmistakably different. I have horrible knees, I run very slowly, I can’t seem to improve my lung capacity enough to run more than 2 miles, hills make me feel like puking, but I still enjoy it. A lot.  Plus it’s free, no gym membership here.

I used to surf and be thinner. It's great exercise if you can do it.

Finding the time and gumption to work out is hard. Really hard.  For the brides who use their wedding as a goal, good for you, kudos. If it shakes you out of your funk and get you on track to eating better and working out, huzzah. But are you going to keep up with it after the wedding? If not, what was the point of stressing yourself out and starving yourself and going on ridiculous diets? Just to look good in pictures that aren’t going to reflect the “true” you? I feel like diets are the new snakeskin oil. Eat this way and you’ll lose X amount of weight. It’s like a Traveling Miracle Medicine Man but in book or DVD form and it’s strict and cruel and there’s a laundry list of rules.  I feel like it’s a shell game. You never know how each diet is going to work for you. Maybe this diet will work but this diet won’t and you won’t know until you try. Then when you go out to dinner with friends you have to make the waiter juggle a million restrictions just so you can be around people.  Oh and you can’t have a beer or cocktail because then you’ll gain 5 pounds overnight.

Diets are stupid. I’m sorry, I’m saying it. Are you going to stick to a diet for the rest of your life? Really? The only thing I feel that has some value is Weight Watchers because it teaches you how to eat. How to weigh decisions with food. I LOVE FOOD. There, I said it. Food is delicious but it's all about balance. Sure, that cake looks fabulous but do I really want to run/walk an extra 5 miles just to burn it off? Is it worth engorging myself for 2 minutes of glorious satisfaction? Sometimes, but not all the time.

Though I am unhappy with my weight, I exercise and I eat decently. My chips are baby carrots, my “sweet treat” is sugar free pudding, etc, etc. I try my best to fit in at least 30 minutes of exercise a day. I’ve started incorporating yoga (at home, no one needs to see that), weight training, etc. The beauty is thanks to the internet you can get a lot of exercise ideas, moves and options online, for free. I once paid a ridiculous amount of money for a personal trainer once a week to show me exercises to do. No cardio, just weight training. I feel like it was such a waste of money. I found all the exercises she taught me online, sure it helps to have someone there to make sure your movements are correct but is that really worth the money? I didn’t lose ANY weight during my training and I was going to the gym 4 days a week. I have since quit the gym. A yoga mat, exercise orb, some resistance bands and weights and you can accomplish many things at home if you sacrifice 30 minutes of your time.

Hiking is also awesome exercise.

Now, I have the motivation to work out every day but no partner in crime. Working out alone is not fun. No fun at all. It’s easier to push off working out when there isn’t someone else relying on you.  How I survive and still manage to work out is with my dog. I take my dog running and as long as it’s not too hot, he won’t fake a limp. Even my dog comes up with excuses not to exercise with me sometimes. I guess take a hint where it’s implied. I used to run or walk or do some form of cross training every day at work with a co-worker. But she’s not here anymore. So now it’s up to me to get out on my lunch break and stretch my legs. But that is the annoyance of wanting to exercise it won’t happen if you don’t make time. I will make time, I have to or I feel bad and gain more weight. Even if it’s just parking 15 minutes away from work to force yourself to walk further, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, etc. It’s the small changes that add up to a big difference. Pack a healthy lunch to work and take 30 minutes to walk around the office, the building, the block, up and down stairs. The first step to any routine is making time.

I feel that if you hyper focus on weight loss it won’t come. Just like if you hyper focus on anything it won’t work. My will bends no spoons. I am unhappy with my weight. I am addicted to running. I create long-term goals for better eating. I don’t push myself too hard. I have faith that my weight will change overtime with persistence and devotion. I wouldn’t trade the rush I get after running or walking or swimming for anything. You should try it sometime.