Value Selling

At a company I worked for, they put a lot of pressure on their marketing and sales team to "value sell." What this meant was they knew they were more expensive than their competitors. However, they offered more to their clients. They had customer service, a design department, a shipping department. They had something they perceived their competitors didn't, VALUE. This company thought themselves to be invaluable to the industry because they could provide a hand holding experience. From the first phone call to the very end they "had your back."

After 3 years with the company, I perceived myself to be an invaluable asset. When I started the job, I was hired as a Administrative Assistant. One employee wanted to make it very clear I was there to support HIM. I loathed him and I found out over the years pretty much everyone did. I wanted to quit because this guy was unbearable and I was supposed to "learn FileMaker Pro" with nothing but the program and a book. I gave up hope. There were 2 options looming in front of me quit and try to find another job or dig my heels in and demonstrate my value. I decided to dig my heels in and it worked. I found a need in the company - marketing.

When I started, there was no marketing - no follow through, no tracking. It was a mess and I decided to take on this mess. I distanced myself from the person who claimed I as hired for him. I began my own projects to help the company. I did learn FileMaker but through an actual class, online. I became a developer and designed a new database for the company. It saved sales hours of manual input and calculations when generating a quote. I won Employee of the Quarter for my efforts. I developed vast and intricate programs both internal and external. I tracked ALL OF THEM. I ran marketing campaigns, organized email blasts, promotions, updated our websites SEO and organic searches. I ran so much market research - from google alerts to stalking companies on my personal instagram. I researched, presented and orchestrated switching our company website and revamping it for usability and a face lift. I then HTML coded for the website. All website updates went through me. All marketing requests and new promotions went through me. All database updates and usability functions went through me. I even enjoyed reading legalese and almost re-wrote their entire Terms & Conditions on their contract as well as offered suggestions on their leasing agreement.

The owner of the company, eventually, even admitted to me - "I find when I have the resources to dedicate to marketing, it does yield great results." I felt invaluable to this company. I worked hard for this company. I felt like I was family to this company.

Demonstrating value, your worth, your abilities, capabilities and efforts to a company is sometimes just not enough. If a company is going under, it's going under with or without your talents.

On July 19th, 2016 my idea of being invaluable, was ended, abruptly. The company did a round of lay offs due to budgeting. People hired long after me were spared because they were more vital to the company's survival. The original owner of the company didn't even say goodbye to me. It stung. No, it hurt. I knew the company was in trouble. I actually almost expected lay offs, since the large company meetings had been threatening them for awhile. I thought I was safe.

Time and time again life has taught me we are never truly "safe."  Your life could be changed in a flash from any number of things - an accident, natural disaster, divorce, death, paper cut. We are never truly safe and we are never truly invaluable. It sounds like I'm being hopeless, but in truth I found some hope from this experience. We have to keep moving. We have to learn, grow and adapt. We cannot stay still. We cannot get comfortable. When things like this happen it is devastating it makes us question ourselves. It's embarrassing. I felt this same way (maybe to a higher degree) after my divorce (at 23), after I lost my mother (at 13). These events are life shattering because we grow comfortable, we grow content, we think everything will always be this way and it will always be okay. Life will always change. If there is one constant in life it is that nothing is permanent but scars and heartache. Embrace those scars, they tell a story. Love that heartache it's your patchwork quilt that you can't sleep without. There is hope after a life shattering event. There are reasons to dust yourself off. You will grow from the experience. You will adapt, change and become something new. Make it something better.

There was nothing I could have done to save my job. Not one single thing. There are things I can do now to demonstrate to the next potential employer my value. Yes, I am might be more expensive to hire than the next employee but I can offer your company so much more. I am so much more.

The Smaller Version of Me

There is no smaller version of me. Today I admit that I am what I am and that’s all that I am or will ever be. Given my recent months of pure insanity I've decided that I need to stop chasing some unattainable smaller version of myself. It was a nice focal point to get me through some hard times. I always felt my weight was the one thing I could control. At a time in my life where I had NO control, it was a nice thought that if nothing else I could change my outer appearance to the strong woman I know is on the inside.  Some bodies are just not meant to change no matter what you think. Even when I had a personal trainer he told me: You have to work with what you are given. You can’t compare yourself to anyone. I’m relatively healthy at this point. Yes. Right now my stomach feels like I swallowed a bowling ball and it hurts to take deep breaths but that’s because this past weekend I went against all reasoning and ate all the things my doctor told me not to.

I've tried to lose weight for nearly 2 years. I've really made no great weight loss and maintained it. I started at 195 in Jan 2012. When I was running an insane amount I got down to 169 in July 2012. Since then the weight slowly crept back up to 185 within the year. Why? No real answers there. Speculation? Sure, I had to stop running because of my knees. We moved to California where both of us aren't making enough for me to buy groceries on anything but a credit card with the hope that on my next paycheck I’ll be able to pay off the groceries. My job is a joke. Our new dog, Princess Vespa, refuses to be house broken, and chews up my underwear, shoes, the garbage or anything she can get her mouth on plus she has been sick pretty much monthly, hooray vet bills. Tim is unhappy with his choice of employment. Neither one of us is happy with the move. I've been diagnosed with PCOS while we try to start a family. I've also been diagnosed with overly producing yeast so a sever shift in my diet has taken place (gone are the days of carefree eating). What does this all add up to? An overproduction of worry and a buildup of STRESS.

What feeds stress? More stress and worry so instead of trying to shove myself into the smaller version of me with the hopes that it will happen I’m just going to come out of the box. Stop stressing on my looks. I work very hard at my job, diet and exercise. I do Pilates 3 days a week, kickboxing 2 days a week, I walk the dogs about 5 hours a week, do strength training 2-3 days a week for a minimum of an hour and occasionally throw in a spinning class here or there. As far as my physical health goes there's really nothing more I can do. I'm tired of poking myself with sticks and fighting the inevitable. After almost a year of being the same weight even through diet shifts, exercise routine shifts and every other type of shift you can imagine, I'm done trying.

I yam what I yam and that’s all that I yam.

P.S. People have suggested seeing another doctor. Financially right now that is not a possibility. The doctor who diagnosed my PCOS gave me a copy of all my blood work. I've had 2 sets of blood work done in the past month I have no hormone, thyroid or vitamin D issues.  Regardless of getting a second opinion my blood test results will not change.