Like a good human being I went to the doctor to get my lady
parts checked. This trip however went horribly awry. For those who need to know
I got off birth control pills. After not getting my lady times for almost 2 months
I bit the bullet and found a doctor to check me out.
She did an ultrasound. She diagnosed me with PCOS Poly
Cystic Ovary Syndrome. Symptoms were mentioned of which I had none but
irregular lady times (which I attributed to getting off my birth control pills).
On top of the PCOS diagnosis, which means having a baby is going to be difficult,
she said I overly produce yeast (joy, because that’s not disgusting). She told
me to cut out carbs and sugars and get a ridiculous amount of blood work done.
She didn’t give me a list of foods to avoid but told me to keep it under 50g of
carbs a day, because that’s totally doable for every human being. This alone
was devastating but let’s add in my food allergies.
The list is no carbs, sugar, red meat, mayo, cherries, sulfur
dioxide (the stuff they use to dry fruit). While I’m not technically allergic
to the next list of things they turn/hurt my stomach: avocados, sweet
potatoes, tomatoes, cucumbers, raw onions. I’m left with some vegetables (no
carrots, apparently), some fruits (small portions), chicken, turkey, eggs, cheese,
salad mix, some nuts and maybe hummus?
Bottom Line: this blows and I keep trying and failing to
avoid certain foods. People keep telling me to go Paleo but here’s the thing,
screw diets. I have a restrictive diet for health reasons, Paleo, Atkins, South
Beach, Shakeology, Body by YerMamma or whatever; you choose your restrictive
diets. Do you have any idea how much I miss steak and desperately want pizza?
On top of that, Paleo isn’t low carb they just seem to replace “wheat” with almonds
which are still carb-tastic. Also, how the heck do we know cavemen wouldn’t eat
food readily available? They only lived for like 30 years but they’re the prime
example of what’s healthy? On another note, I think the human digestive system
is VERY adaptable it kind of had to be or hunters and gathers who were nomads would
not have been able to pick up and find a new food source. Didn’t cavemen spread
out and populate the world which would mean adapting to new plant life and
animals?
Now that I’m off my I-hate-diets-especially-paleo-because-it’s-the-new-fad-and-diets-are-dumb
soapbox, changing my diet has been hard. It’s not that I really ate horribly
before but being completely restricted is exhausting. Without my beloved carbs
(read: pizza), I’m so tired getting through the day requires massive amounts of
coffee. My exercise plan is a little halted because I’d rather go to bed at 8pm
than go to the gym.
However, I’m trying. I’m pissed off, tired, struggling but I’m
trying and that is all anyone can ask me to do. Now it’s time for me to eat a
hunk of cheese with a glass of water as a midday snack.
